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I live in Montreal, Quebec, and my first language is French.

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Friday, May 1, 2009

Dear LP

I know most people don’t have kids before they marry. I myself had not necessarily planned it this way (although I must admit I didn’t necessarily plan the opposite either, it’s simply the way it happened and the way it felt right to us). But I wanted to take you aside and tell you (OK, lazily put it on my blog and hope that you’ll get to read it a few years from now) how much you being a part of the wedding, the planning, and the excitement is fantastic and heartwarming to me.

In fact, I appreciate so much that you’re there to witness it all, to add your grain of salt, even to prevent me from focusing on the wedding too much and constantly remind me of how lucky I am, since what most brides only dream of, I already have. At 2, you are definitely old enough to know what’s going on, and it’s often hilarious. Every time we ask you who’s going to marry soon, you say: “Papa et maman!”, then add, “Avec [LP + his last name], aussi”!!! And it makes me so happy to think that as far as your understanding goes, you’re getting married too. If you were older, it might be a little creepy and twisted, but now, we really don’t have to fear that this could sc**w you up by including you into a very grown-up commitment and make you feel too involved into your parents’ own relationship. I know it’s just your way of taking your place in this celebration, like you’ve done so naturally in our lives from day 1.

And you are right, to some extend. This wedding is between your father and me, no doubt about that, but once you do have a child, you simply cannot think as if you were only two people, ever again. I’m beyond thrilled to become your dad’s wife, and I bet that it's only his face I'll see while saying these vows, but I will also relish in you being near. For this is also the celebration of a family, the officializing of one, if you will.

Even if you may not remember much (although you could, since I do have some memories from that age, and you’ve already shown us your memory is impressive), it will be really special for you to be there, the (other) most important person in the world for both of us. You’ll see yourself in the pictures and videos, you’ll hear people talking about how you were there and what you did. Really, I could not think of a better or a more meaningful person to walk with me to your father (there won’t be an aisle), and I am really honored you’ve accepted. Well, OK, so you didn’t have much of a choice. Still, the other day when I tried to explain it to you I couldn’t help but be completely flooded by emotion, so I can’t even imagine how happy and tearful I’ll be right at this moment when we’re about to start walking towards there, and how grateful I’ll be for holding your hand.

Thank you for having made your father and I who we are, for having tested us as a couple somehow and let us show our less flattering sides to each other, as it made us much stronger, closer, and filled with certitude regarding our odds of making it through. Thank you for filling us with joy every day. Thank you for having made us a family and therefore, made our lives whole.

1 comment(s):

Cate Subrosa said...

Thank you for sharing this with us, Marie-Eve. I might have shed a little tear there...