F, 13 months, has been standing on her own for over a week now. And yesterday, while she was standing in the kitchen besides me, she flashed her big smile and cautiously but very deliberately took one tiny little step, then another. Then she fell on her butt. (Another new thing: this morning while I was dressing her she said: "baybé, baybé?!" So I asked her who the baby was and for the first time, she pointed to herself, grinning knowingly and proudly). The path towards walking is not always linear and we don't expect that she'll start doing it tomorrow, but we're getting close now. A few weeks, maybe?
Which brings me to this little theory I have about kids who are going to daycare and first learning how to walk. Did you ever notice how parents always seem to point out that their child first walks on nights or weekends, i.e. when they are with them? Given that they spend much, if not the majority of their time in daycare, wouldn't it be logical that this very important milestone sometimes happen while there, as well? But I've yet to hear anyone say or write on FB: "Yay! The babysitter told me Thomas started walking today!" It's always like: "Wow, I'm so proud of my kid, I just saw him walk for the first time over the weekend, such a precious moment!"
We are no exception: officially, LP started walking at 14 months, on a Tuesday night at home. But did he really???
So here's my two-cent theory: for many of those kids it probably does happen at daycare. But while we usually have excellent communication with the teachers and we always inform each other of progress, hurdles, schedules, etc., the teachers may have an unwritten rule, which is to keep mum to the parents about this. They of course don't do it because they are mean or rude, but out of consideration, to let the parents "have" this such magical, meaningful, symbolic moment to themselves. To prevent stealing their thunder, so to speak.
I don't think that if confronted, they would lie, but maybe when it happens they just spontaneously decide not to let the parents know... Until the next day (or a few days later) when they come back, beaming, with the exciting news.
Do you think I'm nuts for extrapolating that? I sort of can't wait to see if, "by coicidence", F will also start walking at home with us...
6 comment(s):
Funnily enough, I was chatting with someone who worked in childcare the other day and they said exactly this; that a child had taken his first steps with her, but that she had never ever told the parents, because she wanted them to have the "first steps" moment. So I think you may have hit the nail on the head. I can't decide whether this is kind, or a little sad.
My former sister-in-law, who is a day are teacher (éducatrice), told me that this is what they do! Most parents are just so excited to witness the " first" steps that they never think they may not really be the first ones...
Haha! I knew I was on to something!... :-)
Kind or sad?... Well... I would love nothing more than spending more hours in a day with my kids right now, but at the same time I know with all my heart that 1-I wouldn't be entirely cut out to be a SAHM and probably wouldn't be able to give them everything they need, and that 2-their daycare is a really positive, nurturing, good, stimulating environment, and that it makes them feel secure and even thrive. So I guess there is nothing to do but accept and embrace the fact that part of their life (including possibly important milestones) occurs there, away from me (from us), and let go.
Her teachers are wonderful, and they're really important in our lives right now... So I don't view this like "it's a shame it happened with strangers" or anything like that... My heart is full when we arrive there in the morning and she throws herself into her teacher's arms, flirting, cooing, gently stroking her face... I also had little tears of tenderness last week when I read a note her teacher had left to a replacement one that was going to spend the afternoon with her, saying things like "when she falls asleep, F likes to have her bunny blanky close to her face. And when you give them their afternoon snack, please sit F in the chair near the window; it's her favorite". It makes me so happy she's spending her time with these great, totally loving people.
Anyway, all this to say that I guess I prefer to think her first steps happened with us, but then, it doesn't really matter in the end... Even if she walked during the day before, it will still be very new, and it will still be "our" first time. :-)
F is totally saving up her steps for you guys. She's clever that way.
Their daycare sounds *amazing*.
But yeah, I would never tell a parent their child had reached such a huge milestone as first steps in front of me unless they'd told me they'd done it with them first, and I've discussed this with other childcarers who say the same. Like you said, there's an "oh, kids never take their first steps in childcare" unwritten rule that comes with a knowing look between us.
However I must say in the majority of cases I think kids probably do do things like this first in their home environment where they are most confident and secure, and for their parents, whom they are most eager to please.
Yes, yes, but CAN WE TALK ABOUT F's ADORABLE OUTFIT???????
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