Hello and welcome!

I live in Montreal, Quebec, and my first language is French.

May I insist on the fact that I love getting comments?

Monday, May 30, 2011

Photography class

I've completed my photo class. It was fun (and often quite funny and chaotic with 8 moms with cameras + 8 babies + some older kids + one teacher in one small room). I certainly liked it, and learned a lot. My only slight critique is that since the majority of women had small point-and-shoot (automatic) cameras, the class was more geared towards them, so it didn't go as far as I had hoped. M's camera is quite good, it could always go a lot farther then theirs, and often I would have liked to explore its possibilities more. I'm not sure if they have enough moms with pro or semi-pro cameras to justify a class for them, though. And also, with F around, I'm aware that for sure it was no place for intense high-level learning.

Did I turn into an amazing photog overnight? No. But did I step up my game? Definitely! I am no longer intimidated by our camera. I can now take decent or even good pictures, although I still have a lot to learn (I think becoming a great photographer has a lot to do with plenty of trial and error). I can improve the quality of pics on this blog. I no longer need my husband to come photograph my flowers for a wedding. So the class totally served its purpose, and even more.

I'm lucky M really knows what he's talking about, and I'm grateful for our camera. Because now, thanks to good equipment and a personal coach, with a little technique, some practice, and lots of paying attention, I can already get pretty nice results. (Except for the bicycle photo which was (is) overexposed, all the following pics are unretouched. The teacher took the ones I'm on).

My little model during class



Practice!




Studio shoot




Friday, May 27, 2011

An ode to Apple

Believe it or not, the iphone works!!! These gadgets sure are expensive, but. They're worth it. Back when I was working I was often mocked a little for it by my little community of geeks, who aren't really fond of too-trendy Apple products much. But really. Would their Android still work after a dive in the pool? Just saying.

Thank you to everyone who suggested I put it in a bowl of rice. When we read about it on the Net, we learned that it's indeed a very effective way of drawing the moisture out, but that one way is even better and quicker -silica packets, you know the ones you often find in shoes or purses when you first buy them? We had a few, because last year one of M's camera lens somehow attracted moisture, and he put it in a sealed food container with several of them. It's now just like new. Well, same for the iphone! After two days M took it out and magically, the Apple logo appeared for a second before shutting down (obviously, the battery was drained). Then we plugged it in and boom -all of my notifications appeared at once with the little telltale sound. Everything is absolutely fine, no data lost whatsoever. I'm extremely impressed.

And yes, I have learned my lesson now. Weekly backups, at least.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Storm

Have you heard about Storm's story? Storm is a four-month old Toronto baby whose parents categorically refuse to reveal his/her gender. When the baby was born, they sent an email to everyone saying that they would withhold this information, so the baby is free from societal norms. "We've decided not to share Storm's sex for now — a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime (a more progressive place? ...)," they wrote.

They have two older boys who were able to decide what to wear starting from 18 months on. They both have long hair (one wears it in braids) and often wear pink and purple dresses. People usually mistake them for girls.

They don't like the fact that most parents take all the decisions for their children, and think it's "obnoxious". Since their story broke out on Saturday, they received a deluge of criticism and insult. A little praise, too.

I'm so intrigued by this. Seems to me that it's a great idea in principle, but one that totally goes awry in practice. When you think of it, it is kind of unnecessary (and recent) that all people care about babies are their genders and go to great lengths to make those clearly visible. But imposing that to a child, when it's clear that society won't change, seems extremely radical to me, not to mention a little cruel.

I can only sort of applaud parents who don't go nuts with gender and let their kids be who they want to be without freaking out -it seems sane. But letting boys explore the gender realm that far? While at home it probably makes the child feel more accepted and safer, I feel for them whenever they are out in public. Children are cruel; adults are even cruel. We live within society. We can bend the rules a little; I'm especially fond of that. But I also think that learning how to live with them is a vitally important part of growing up.

Same with letting kids take all their decisions. You don't have to be a authoritative, helicopter parent, but you still are the authority figure. You also need to teach boundaries, to make kids accept that they won't always have their way. I don't think it's obnoxious; it's all a question of balance. I wouldn't want to see a household where kids make all the rules. It wouldn't be pretty. I also wouldn't want to go to school or work with the person this child becomes.

Then there's everyone around them, resentful grandparents, nosy neighbors, baffled friends, annoyed relatives. Fighting the questions every day, arguing over this all the time, making their case over and over again. Who wants to take such a thing that personally, who wants to fight this much over an issue like that? Does it seem like a good idea to use a flesh-and-bones child just to make a theoretical point?

Storm and his/her big brother Jazz


What do you think?

By the way, Storm is totally a boy. All of this is a little futile anyway. Nature will eventually tell, probably sooner rather than later.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Confronting my worst nightmare

LP fell into the pool.

On Monday, which was a Holiday here, we were all outside tending to our new vegetable patch (more on that soon). It is located on the back of our yard, on the other side of our fenced patio, just alongside the pool. Bébé was in her bouncy seat, M and I were planting shoots and seeds. LP was playing around us. All of a sudden, we hear a loud SPLASH!

We were both there, but I was one step closer than M, so I didn't even think. I turned around, shouted, "I'm right here!", and I jumped in. It happened very quickly. I have images of him, clearly in shock, all wet, but his head outside of the water, trying to push and keep himself up with his arms. My thinking that surprisingly, the water wasn't that cold. My grabbing him, handing him out to M with I don't even know what strength. My husband pulling him out of the water and sitting him down. Him wailing, crying, not making much sense, shouting that he wanted the Lego piece he had dropped into the water.

I got out, dripping wet. We were both fully dressed, with shoes and all. I hugged him, held him tight. I was simultaneously hysterical and laughing in spite of myself, which often happens to me when I'm all nerves. M went to grab us big towels in the house. It had lasted seconds, but felt something like a lifetime.

That has always been my worst nightmare. Our pool has always been nothing but a source of problems and worry, a big money pit we can't really get rid of.  Just that very morning, my father told me: “With a pool you need to have 100% of your focus on the little one all the time. Not 99% of it 99% of the time, because that’s not enough.” And that freaked the hell out of me, because with the baby and all that accumulated lack of sleep, I, alas, pretty much never have that.

To make matters worse, LP cannot take swimming lessons. The specialist who has been following him since he was a baby for his ear issues has vetoed it, as he vetoes swimming in public pools or lakes. We can let him swim a little in our own pool, but we have to make him wear plugs and be really careful. Last year, we tried to teach him how to swim in our pool anyway, but by the end of the summer we weren’t quite there yet. Fortunately, once he fell, it apparently still came back to him because I could see that he was trying, and when I asked him later he said that it’s exactly what he wanted to do, keep his head out of the water and swim.

After we both calmed down, his little lips trembling, he kept saying: “I couldn’t see anything… All I could see was blue (Je ne voyais que du bleu).” He also kept becoming teary, saying over and over again, wholeheartedly: “Thank you so much mommy, for saving me…!”  I didn’t even know what to say, except to hug him and hear my heart break a little, and tell him that it’s exactly what his dad and I were there for.

My body hasn’t yet recovered from the adrenaline shock, all tense and aching. I had trouble sleeping last night, reliving the moment again and again. I know that everything turned out for the better, like we say in French “plus de peur que de mal” (more scared than hurt). But. What if? What if the water hadn't been cleaned yet and was opaque, what if he had fallen into the deep end of the pool, what if we would have been just a little further?

He knew that he wasn't supposed to try to pick up something that had fallen into the pool, but in the moment, without thinking, he did anyway. Is there anything else that he would do like that, despite our clear rules? Run in the street without looking to chase a ball? Go outside without telling us while we're occupied with something else? Leave with a seemingly friendly stranger?

In a way, I also feel strangely relieved. I no choice but to confront this very deep-seated fear of mine, and in the best conditions possible. LP does not appear to be traumatized, but it was scary and unpleasant enough that I think the pool has completely lost its appeal to him now. But.

Once I took off my soaked out clothes, M suddenly remembered something and cursed. "What?" "Your iphone," he said, "I saw it earlier in your pocket". Now obviously I couldn't care less about my iphone when compared to my son, and I wouldn't have done things differently. But. It's dead now. And I do have back-ups (although the most recent is more than a month old), and people who have had to use those told me they're far from perfect and full of holes. Of course it's a stupid gadget, but above and beyond something than allows me to read, watch videos and socialize, it basically contained my whole life. Hundreds of precious pictures and videos of the kids, including F's first moments (these can probably be backed up, fingers crossed). All of our medical appointments. Lists with important data. Lots of notes, on flowers and blog posts and what not. All of the data from my pregnancy, which I don't need but wanted to keep anyway for sentimental reasons (her fetal heartbeat, etc). All my contacts (I don't even know any phone numbers by heart, seriously). The withdrawal is kind of brutal.

It's been sitting in a plastic container with 6 packets of silica gel for the past two days. M takes it out and blow dries it with gentle cool air every day. It looks a little better than it did on Monday, as the moisture is slowly being wicked away. Some people on the Net say they were able to resuscitate theirs after a whole cycle in the washing machine. So all hope is not lost. We'll see.


 

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

The Kitchn!

Our wedding, well the self-catering part, in on The Kitchn. Yes, really, the foodie blog of Apartment Therapy. Which is just, you know, one of my best ever favorite design sites. I'm feeling really humbled and (slightly starstruck). And apparently, inarticulate.

Thank you again to Meg from A Practical Wedding. Who is the best. No, really.

Monday, May 23, 2011

The mom's crafty

As you may know, my mother has always been my ultimate influence and teacher when it comes to all things pertaining to the home (she's a great cook, she sews, etc.)

For a few years now, she's been making these beautiful playmats as presents for the babies around her. She has asked me to put up a few here, in case someone would be interested in buying one. So, what do you think?

They're about two feet by three feet, which is a great size. They're very thick, plush and cushiony, all handcrafted and decorated by hand. Each one takes about 25 hours to make. They can be personalized in all the colors and motifs you want, but she always chooses a lot of materials and textures so the babies can have a different feel depending on what they touch and/or drool on... They're $125 CDN, and around two weeks are needed to make one. Thank you!




Friday, May 20, 2011

Finding your body back

After I gave birth, I decided to take some pictures regularly to document how my body looked and changed over these first several months. I gained a little a little less than 40 pounds during the pregnancy, and weighted approximately 165 pounds when I gave birth on November 7. I then lost probably 18 or so pounds over the first few days, then gained back 5 despite breastfeeding exclusively (due to uncontrolled eating, no exercise whatsoever, and the Holidays coming around at that time) -my weight loss since birth was officially 13 pounds when I returned to my ob/gyn for my 8 weeks post-partum visit.

4 days post-partum -this is a surreal time... Even though you're far from your usual shape, at this point it's really hard to believe that you had a baby in your (huge in comparison) belly just a couple of days prior!


9 days post-partum -probably the same as I was around 4 months pregnant...

I took a few pictures after that, but I'm only wearing underwear on them, so I'm not quite game to post them here. But here's a picture taken on Christmas night, 7 weeks post-partum, 150 pounds. Yes I know, the boobs. Sigh. If only there was a (natural!) way of keeping those...



14 weeks post-partum. Weight: 143. I know I'm wearing workout clothes, I was just going to work out! This top made my belly look a little flatter than it actually was.



20 weeks. Weight: 137. At this point I could fit into a lot of my clothes again, which felt awesome.




27 weeks. Weight: 133. The ultimate test: I can get into my normal jeans. They're still a little tight, but!!!


I'm still not at my before weight (I have 5-7 pounds to go). But a shift has occurred, and seemingly overnight I found myself closer to my "natural" body. Exactly like the last time, this only happened after I started breastfeeding less often, as F started eating solids 3 times a day. Even though nursing certainly does make you lose weight, I seem to be one of these women (about 20%) whose body purposely retains some fat as long as you're nursing the baby (which seems to make sense from an anatomical/evolutionary point of view). For the same reason, I think it will be hard to lose these last pounds before F is completely weaned. I don't stress over these too much. It's clear that my body will never be like before I had kids -after two pregnancies my stomach will never be as tight and flat, nor my boobs as perky. But I'm just so happy and relieved to find myself (relatively) back!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

A week in pictures

Sometimes, even if it's rare, you have an out-of-the-ordinary week, where everything seems to be just right. Sometimes, even more rarely, you realize that you have all the pictures to document it nicely.


Friday, 9:45 AM. Testing the light at photography class.

Saturday, we leave for Quebec City. M informs me that as a surprise, my mother is babysitting that night and we're going on a date. Where? At this legendary restaurant, most definitely one of the top three in this admittedly already foodie place. Now although over the past six years we have had several bonnes bouffes (fancy restaurant meals), this is actually the first time we're doing this without a gift certificate from my mom and her partner J, and the first time we're experiencing such a level of gastronomy.

For the occasion, I wear the designer tunic M bought me for Christmas (back then I cried because it wouldn't go down past my armpits), and my Jimmy Choos.



Saturday, 7:45 PM. We head out with a little spring in our step, our first date since last August.

The experience is incredible. It's a very winning mix of top-quality, really fresh, local, seasonal ingredients (only a dozen or so items on the menu, all perfectly executed into a work of art), cutting edge techniques and creativity, and extremely professional yet warm service. We are totally vowed.


M's dessert -the "egg in a nest". Actually a marshmallowy custard, flash frozen in liquid nitrogen to make it cold and crackly on the outside, while it remains warm and soft inside. The "moss" is pistachio sponge cake.

And mine! From bottom to top: cream cheese frosting, the most delicious carrot cake, cocoa crumble, little beads of carrot mousse, and mint sprigs. Carrot ice cream is on the side.


Sunday, 10 AM. Mother's Day. The kids with their grandmother and great-grandmother, who came from my hometown.

Tuesday, 4:40 PM. Walking back from daycare. The weather has been so nice last week, I picked up LP with the stroller every day, about half an hour each way...

Wednesday, 2:10 PM. We head out to the local library, F and I with the stroller, LP on his big boy bike. Upon coming in, I go to the counter to give back the books he borrowed last week. When I turn around 30 seconds later, he's gone. After a moment of slight panic, I find him in this nook, quietly "reading" cartoons.


Thursday, 11:15 AM. Look mommy, I can now sit up with a little help!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

About this time two years ago...

...I was obsessing over plastic patio chairs, apple blossoms, and of course bad weather.

I was also blown away by how amazing it felt to officially commit to the love of my life, longtime partner, father of my child. By the love we could feel from everyone who came to cheer us on.

Happy wedding anniversary, M.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Solids

When we were in LA mid-March, F, who had previously been sleeping 4-5 hours stretches at night, began waking up to feed every 2 to 3 hours. She was four months -the age at which I had began giving cereal to LP. "Don't rush feeding solids!", all the books say. "It's probably just a very temporary growth spurt!" Yeah, OK. But then she kept on doing that for two over weeks. And just like LP, she was showing all the readiness signs: acute interest in food and watching us eat, holding her head straight, etc. While I was eating breakfast, she would fuss and fuss until I'd sit her on my lap and give her my spoon, let her have just the tiniest taste of something -like sucking on a chunk of apple while I held it, for instance, or giving her a little bit of my yogurt... Exactly like her brother, the girl had become miserable on milk alone (granted, I don't appear to make very rich milk).

I said it before for LP, but I tend to disagree with the fixed 6-month solids rule. It certainly works for some kids, but not mine. And I mean both of them: I wanted F to lead this, and did not necessarily want to do the same thing for both kids, but it was very clear that she was ready. Why would all kids be ready at the same age, when they all do everything else at widely different intervals? I'm aware of allergy and intolerance concerns. I do take this seriously. But when doing some research all I could find was a disagreement between the American Association of Pediatrics, which says 4 to 6 months, and their Breastfeeding group, which is adamant on 6 months. F's doctor even gave me her blessing, when I told her a little bit about her context. She asked: is she pushing the food out with her tongue and doesn't seem to know what to do with it? No, she's swallowing it very expertly. Is she able to tell you when she's done? Yes, actually, she pushes the spoon away. Does she seems to be doing better since she's eating? God YES! She even went back to her 4-5 hour stretches at night. She then turned to the nurse and said: Mommy knows her baby. Which I think is ze main message in all this.

She started cereal at 4 and a half months, pureed fruits and veggies at 5 months, then tofu and legumes. I waited until 6 months for meats -animal protein is hard for little kidneys to process before then.


(Plum, orange cauliflower, and zucchini. I didn't alter the colors -look at these beautiful, vivid hues!)

She loves it! And I LOVE this stage. Doing this all over again feels like such a blessing, and is making me all enthusiastic again about the idea of writing a book on the topic.

My strategy is a little different this time around. And my main instinct is even clearer than it was: the fun part, the positive part of setting the foundation for a kid's eating habits throughout their life, has somehow been completely taken away nowadays. Being cautious is one thing. But turning this into a mine field of warnings and scaremongering, a terrible chore, and most especially a completely joyless and confusing experience cannot be right.

Therefore, here are a few notes on what we're currently going through.


-Don't give your baby sh*t you wouldn't eat. I have nothing against jarred baby food once in a while, but some of that stuff is nasty. That's not going to help avoid the fussy eating later on, you know?

-There's no need to launch a whole big cooking and freezing endeavor. You don't need purees for months and months! What you want is a little variety and to have something on hand when you need it. So really there's no need to buy five heads of broccoli. Half of one will do. This will give you enough to fill 4 to 6 baby cubes (what I'm using), which is plenty! When you run out, it's going to be time to add some more texture anyway.

-While I do sometimes make batches of purees especially for F, I also use what I'm cooking for the rest of the family. We're having green beans that night? I'm making just a little more and put what's left in the food processor after dinner. Voilà!

-Fresh is better than frozen, which is better than jarred. Simply put, the food in jars is probably not the best quality to begin with, and it's also inevitably overcooked (that's the only way it can be sterilized to have a long shelf life). I use it when I need to (when we went to NYC, for instance), but I also found this pouched product, which I like better. At least the varieties they have are cool and a little more inventive. In a pinch, it's a great back-up.

-Even beginners will accept food that's not liquid-ey. I don't have a blender, just a food processor, which does smooth purees, but not even remotely close to the soupy consistence of what you find in jars. I didn't even realize this -to me, that was "smooth," and both my babies had no problem with it. But introducing textures early and rapidly increasing the size of the chunks make sense to me, if you want to raise a good eater. I don't go out of my way to remove all texture; F is accepting little raspberry seeds without a problem, for instance.

-I don't always use the purees I have in my frozen stash. Whenever I can, I do fresh: you can pulse a small mango (two to three portions), a peach or a pear, etc., in about 30 seconds. You can mash a banana or an avocado in even less. You can bake a small (whole, unpeeled) sweet potato in the oven for 30 minutes. Scoop the flesh out, and it's pureed already (about three portions).

-Fresh also means you can do a whole lot more variety than the "traditional" kinds. You can do red bell pepper puree, or eggplant caviar, or tomatoes, cucumber, kiwifruit, figs, watermelon... I even did very sweet blood orange; it was one of F's favorite things.

-They usually say that you should give your baby only one new food at a time for a few days, so you could easily identify the culprit if she develops a reaction. I don't always follow this -sometimes, it just doesn't make sense. I always carefully note everything she has, though. I mean, even if she has two to three different new foods over these few days, it wouldn't be so hard to go back and find which one is causing a problem. Not that I'm undermining this, but apart from the big allergens (wheat, soy, eggs, nuts, etc.), the chances of your baby having a reaction to say, carrots, is actually infinitesimal.

-Mix it up! The mixes are the best. Carrots and dates. Mango and banana. Pear and broccoli. Apple and cranberries. There's no limit!

-I also think it's completely OK to mix something the baby is not crazy about with something she loves -say, yucky-face peas with yummy-face butternut squash. I also use this strategy when first introducing meats.

-I make a small batch of applesauce every week, trying different varieties, and I don't freeze it. We like to have it too, it means I always have something fresh on hand, and it's a great "mixer" (see above).

-Don't be afraid to season a bit. I don't put salt or sugar in F's food, but nothing prevents you from adding a little lemon juice, some herbs, or even a little onion and garlic. I have occasionally added just a little olive oil too, when there's no way to cook the food otherwise (chicken liver, fish). Try it! It won't hurt them. If they don't like it, you can always use it up by mixing it with something else later.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Hi, my name is Marie-Ève...

...and I am a baby shoe addict.





(In my defense, two some pairs were given to us.)

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Admit it, you're dying to know about the Royal Wedding flowers...

I confess, I'm a bit of a celeb wedding stalker... Not so much for the dress or the like (although I certainly appreciate when a too-rare bride wears something a little different), but rather because of the bouquet, flowers, and general decor. It's a bit of running gag between M and I: I'll buy a gossip magazine featuring a wedding, and he'll quip, "You're reading it for the flowers, right?", as if it were Playboy.




London florist Shane Connolly and the Middleton’s family florist from their village, Emma Sampson, pulled off the event. The bride’s bouquet, a small, slightly cascading style, was myrtle (snipped from a bush Queen Victoria planted in 1845), lily-of-the-valley, fragrant hyacinth and sweet williams (ha!). A royal bride’s bouquet is always white, as per the tradition. I didn't know that, and made a fool of myself by announcing on Twitter that I *thought* she would be choosing all-white. #veryclever
Most of the flowers were sourced from the Windsor Great Park’s Valley Gardens in Surrey, making them both local and sustainable. Westminster Abbey was decorated with 30,000 flowers and English field maples, which will also be replanted.





Instead of tossing her bouquet during the wedding reception, the new Duchess of Cambridge had it placed on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.
I liked it. Simple, elegant, classic and classy. I prefer bouquets on a smaller scale, so the bride is not drown in flowers. I like the symbolism beneath the flowers, and the thought put behind them. Well done!

Monday, May 9, 2011

Six months

My bébé is a half year.

Then...



Now. (I took that! It's not GREAT but it's an improvement already)

It's gotten to the point where we have to think hard for a second before remembering life before her. We spent Holidays with her, she was here before snow and now, finally, it's the spring. We've gone on trips with her, gone through several different stages, settled in a routine. She's making all of our days a little brighter.

Her personality is emerging more and more, with still some traits reminding me of her brother, and so much things which are just hers. She keeps growing on me, with her flirty babbling, her curiosity, her constant good mood backed by some "I know what I want" character, her cute eyes with such long eyelashes...


I'm so happy that she's here.