How well do you score?

This isn't exactly fresh news; it came out last fall, but I've just seen it in a TV show rerun. What am I talking about? 10 official cancer prevention recommendations from the FMRC, a French organization which stands for Fonds Mondial de Recherche contre le Cancer (Worldwide Fund for Cancer Research). Apparently, this is quite big: the first time a major health authority has issued such clear, straightforward guidelines to follow if you want to maximize your chances of not becoming a statistic (1 in 3 Canadians will have one cancer within their lifetime, by the way). It's also big in that it plainly associates cancer (some types of it, at least) with the patient's food intake and lifestyle, a very simple, full of sense fact that many people nonetheless still deny.

There was one other über-important recommendation, which they stated apart from these 10 since it is so well-known: do not smoke, and avoid secondary smoke.


1-Be as thin as possible, without being underweight. (A BMI between 21 and 23 is recommended).

According to the TV show I was watching, this is quite edgy; most health bodies state that 25 is still fine, while this seems to imply that even the slightest pudginess can increase your risk. I thought it all depended on where your fat was located: a pear shape is better than an apple one, etc.

2- Be active at least 30 minutes a day.

I thought it would be even longer than that. It's not that much but I don't even do that every day.

3- Avoid sweetened drinks. Limit your intake of calorie-dense foods, especially ones with added sugars, or which contain lots of fat or don't contain much fiber.

In short, fast food, potato chips and soda are a no-no.

4- Increase and vary your intake of vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and legumes.

I always find it strange though that they don't mention pesticides in these cases...

5- Limit your intake of red meat (beef, pork, lamb), and avoid cured meats.

In short, red meat + salt + fat + nitrates = no good. But you already knew that, right?

6- Drink no more than one alcohol unit a day if you're a woman, two if you're a man.

7- Limit your salt intake.

8- Do not take supplements.

I'm a little surprised about this one. Is it because they are inherently bad or because they are simply useless and/or give people a false sense of being in better health than they actually are? But there are exceptions to that rule, like Vitamin D.

9- Breastfeed your baby(ies) for at least 6 months if possible.

Unclear in this case whether the benefit is for the mother, the child, or both...

10- Follow these recommendations very seriously if you are a cancer survivor.

Again, this is big, because it's the first time health authorities underline the importance of diet and lifestyle changes in preventing the recurrence of cancer.


I think we're doing well, probably better than most people. But there's definitely still room for improvement, not to mention that I would have scored very average or below average for most of my life...


Here are the guidelines, in French. These say that "most cancers can be avoided" through personal choices; that's pretty powerful stuff!

Zen-like flowers

Yesterday a potential corporate customer asked me to produce some prototypes of centerpieces for an upcoming event, practically on the spot, with only a few hours notice. I had never done anything like that before, and I had just a tiny moment of freaking out -after all I'm not a "real" florist with a shop who can pull these off effortlessly with what I already have on hand; however they don't necessarily have to know that... In the end it all worked out, was a lot of fun, and, I think, came out great! Thanks to my daughter who followed me everywhere in the baby carrier, sleeping on me, enjoying the ride (which let me tell you, was quite a workout). She likes action and people, this little one.

All that they asked for was a Zen-like style, with glass containers, river stones, bamboo and orchids. I presented them with three options. Which one is your favorite? I really hope I do get the contract as I am very curious to see what they would choose...

Anti what?

Have you also noticed lately, the rise of a certain anti-children sentiment? M and I were talking about it yesterday, how there's a recent boom in no-kids-allowed places and events, how somehow after the "you can bring kids everywhere" trend you've seen in recent years, the pendulum was swinging back. There are now restaurants where you can't bring kids, airlines where babies can't fly first class, and so on, on top of certain cruises and resorts.

Up to a certain I don't really mind, per say. We do tend to bring our kids wherever, but at the same time we carefully pick our places and we try to be aware and watch them actively. While we usually try to avoid fast food chains with their (mock) kid-friendly vibe, we don't bring them to very formal places where they would be frown upon, either. Our philosophy is that they should learn to behave themselves and eat even if they're isn't a playground and especially even if the menu doesn't include fries or chicken nuggets, yes. But I'm perfectly OK with leaving them home when a culinary experience is what we're after. During our honeymoon, M and I even stayed at an adult-only resort in Mexico, even though we didn't really know that when we booked -at the last minute, because of the H1N1 crisis.

But since when has it become acceptable to discriminate against children at large? I mean, would it be OK to do so against people of a certain race or religion or sexual orientation? I have been in restaurants with unruly kids, I have also been in planes with crying babies. Did it ruin my experience? Well, in the first case, the kids didn't annoy me as much as the parents, whom I believe should have made sure their young were kept under control, and should have taught them that you can have fun without becoming overexcited (we keep trying with LP anyway, even if it's not always easy -but if he ever became like that in a public place and nothing worked, we would just remove him from the situation). As for the wailing babies, what can you do? Babies (and kids) cry. Flights can be difficult and unpleasant for everyone, especially for them. In this case, I mostly feel bad for the parents, especially when I can see how awful and embarrassed they seemed to feel.

The thing is, the most annoying and apparently-unable-to-behave-themselves-in-society people I've ever seen in restaurants, planes, hotels, and the like, weren't children. They were adults, people that should know better than being extremely loud and brash or plainly rude and impolite, getting very drunk, shouting or playing effin' unbearable dance music in the middle of the night, making a scene for nothing, abusing very nice and patient service people, etc. Come to think of it, our kid-free honeymoon resort became much less of a paradise on the last day, when a bunch of American college students suddenly showed up and took over.

It's not that I think I should receive a special treatment for my kids, or that they should rule. It's not even that I think everyone should have or even like kids -they're a tough little bunch, and if you don't feel you're not cut out for it, it's totally fine and probably better. But systematic kids bashing or "kid-free by choice"-type blogs and site and associations, I don't get. You shouldn't be prejudiced because you decided not to reproduce, for sure. But really? We all know people whose whole identity is centered around their children, and we all know that we don't really want to be around them for too long. But what can be said of people whose whole identity is centered around the fact that they don't even have any?

Cadel

Watching the Tour de France is a big tradition in our house. We love the gorgeous images, we love the crazy hardship, strategies and drama. We keep promising ourselves to one day travel these beautiful roads together. There's little my husband loves more than driving on mountain passes and roads -last year, one of the highlights of our trip to Italy was the Alps, especially (for him anyway) the Gavia pass, which had just been cycled on for the Giro -the Tour de Italy, if you will. Even if I'm much less of a cycling connoisseur, I still have my own Tour de France anecdote: ten years ago, I watched the riders arrive in Colmar, which is a beautiful small village in Alsace. All I remember was a lot of waiting around with crazy fans, French people blasting sponsor ads in speakers, and the streets being littered with logo-ed trinkets. Then, the great moment: the riders all came into the village, so fast we couldn't really see them, everyone went silent and all we could hear was a very loud whooosh. I took a really great picture (which I don't have anymore) of the winner in action on his bike. Maybe you have vaguely heard of his name once or twice. What was it? Lance... something? 

When we learned that our first baby was a boy, M was very keen on a name, which he spent a lot of time trying to sell me. It was Cadel. I thought it was ludicrous, never considering it seriously for even one minute. Where had he ever heard about that?

Well, as a young adult M was very involved in mountain biking. He rode a lot, competed locally, worked in a specialized shop. In 1994, he drove from Quebec City to Vail, Colorado with three of his buddies to take part in the World Championships. They brought their bikes and rode a bit, too, although not in the official competition, because they weren't of that caliber, obviously. And that's where he got to know a 17 year-old Australian, who was competing as a junior. Who was unbelievably talented, and who won second place, after a Frenchmen who eventually disappeared into oblivion (ha!). His name was Cadel Evans.

The same Cadel Evans who has since switched to road biking, made it pro, and at the age of 34, has finally won a Tour de France, which just might turn him into a legend. Who's apparently a very humble man, living in a remote village of the Italian-speaking part of Switzerland, with his wife who's a classically-trained concert pianist. Whose reputation states he never was into doping (although as much as I'd like to believe that, I'm very much a cynic when it comes to that sport and its incredible level of sustained performance).

Congratulations Cadel. It was fun to hear LP repeatedly say your name, and remember that this is how his father once wanted to name him, because you had impressed him that much so many years ago.

By the way, now that the name will not be so obscure anymore, do I regret vetoing it five years ago?  Er, no.

Some are arriving, some are leaving

 1980

My beloved grandfather is gone.

The day before we got back from LA, I worked on flowers for two events (will post about that soon). My sister, who was 41 weeks pregnant at this point, got an induction and this is how, in the midst of visiting the LA Flower Market, conditioning stems and preparing about 10 different arrangements, I followed her labor and the birth of my niece via text messages from my mom. She was born late afternoon on that very day, after a short and thankfully uneventful childbirth. That night, I was still on a high, so eager to see her when we got home.

When I woke up the next morning, I had a voicemail from my mom. Since I was outside my network, I couldn't access it, but figured she only wanted to gush about how cute the baby was and ask when we would be home (we were flying out in the afternoon). I told my friend Julie I'd just call her back when we got there. "Take our landphone and call her," she said. "But I wouldn't want you to pay for the long distance call..." "Do it", she insisted.

My mom only answered right when I was about to hang up. "Allo, ça va?," I asked. Her voice was distant and lost. "Non ça va pas," she said. "It's not going well at all." And at that moment I admit that my heart skipped about 5 beats, because my first instinct was to think, Oh My God something happened to the baby. "My father has died," she went on. And for a second I felt a surge of relief flowing through me -my sister and niece were alright. But then just as fast, the realization came and the sting began.

It not that I didn't expect it. His health had degraded in recent months, he had been to the hospital often, had taken more time than usual to bounce back. There was water on his lungs, he had pneumonia, had lost a lot of weight. I first felt it after talking with him on the phone following this new difficult episode, which happened in the spring. I even told my mom about it. "The tone has changed. It's not just another annoyance in their existence now. He has moved into the end-of-life stage." "I'm sure he still has a couple of years," she shrugged off. He was only 79. How could we not think so? He had overcome so much throughout his life, throughout the last few years especially. He had always been there. I guess I just thought he would never leave.

Back then, I told M "we need to spend more time with him now. We need to take good pictures of him with the kids (and then boo our damn camera broke). I need to make him tell me his stories again so I can finally write them down."

We went out to brunch with them in mid-June, on a rainy day. I had a shock when I first saw him (the last picture is from then), how thinner and older and frailer he suddenly looked. But he didn't want us to think so. His mind was still just as sharp. We talked about everything and nothing, how much F had changed... He thought I would arrive with a sleeping, swaddled baby in my arms, but there she was in her high chair, eating and holding her own cup and babbling and smiling to him. He wanted to hold her. I love babies, I love holding them and rocking them, but usually people don't let me, he said. While he did, I had the presence to at least capture the moment with my phone. It was the last picture of him the whole family would have (I know I'll eventually have to remove the stupid coffee pot in the back). We went back to their condo after, where he played with LP, and then they gave us the tour of their building -LP wanted to see the pool and the game room. When we left, we hugged. I told him that the weekend after we came back from California, I wanted them to come to our place for a barbecue. He agreed, but I could see he was thinking -I'm not dying you know, there's no need to rush.

Even though this day was probably fairly tiring for him, I'm sure it also made him very happy. Just like my sisters, cousins and I did, his great-grand-kids meant the world to him. When I was a child, actually, he even promised me that he wouldn't die before getting to know my own children. And he didn't, my grand-papa, he didn't.

LP's first birthday, 2008

He called two days before we left for California. He was so sorry about F's accident, and wanted to know how she was. He wished us a good trip (he'd always say: "Good for you you're traveling so much! Enjoy it while you can, while you're still young!), then we reiterated our plans -barbecue at our house, weather permitting, three Saturdays from then.

I didn't know that while we were in LA, but a few days before passing away he got into the hospital again. His heart was slowly failing. The water on his lungs was becoming too big of a burden for his already very tried body. He got worse then got better enough to be transferred out of the critical care unit. On his last day the doctor told him that they wanted to keep him in so they could run some tests to see if he would be fit enough to undergo yet another heart surgery. The doctor said he badly needed it, but frankly, wasn't sure that he could handle it.

 Our wedding, 2009

Later that day, my mother called him, told him she was on her way to another hospital where his latest great-grandchild was soon to be born. My grandfather was so happy. "Congratulate your daughter! And kiss my great-grand-daughter for me until I can see her, all right?" Then, he said: "Some are arriving, and some are leaving." "Don't be silly!", my mom said. "I'm coming tomorrow to spend the afternoon with you, OK?" Then she hung up.

 Christmas 2010 -F was 7 weeks old

That night, he woke up at 4 and called the nurse. He was cold, so he asked for some hot water and a blanket. He was still cold, so he asked to put on his fleece jacket (there was -there still is- a heat wave here). She left. A different nurse came back at 5:20. He had no pulse. They weren't able to resuscitate him. His almighty heart simply couldn't take it anymore.

My mom arrived before 7. He was peaceful, at every moment she thought he would open his sparkly eyes again. He drifted away in his sleep, without suffering or even realizing it. The doctors couldn't believe that he had survived his triple bypass sixteen years, especially with two cancers, bouts of pneumonia, whatnot. He was a very strong man. Unfortunately even the strongest ones do not live forever.

 June 2011

His funeral was this weekend. It was a gorgeous day, exactly three Saturdays after our last phone call. Tragically it took his death to gather us six cousins and eight great-grandchildren together for the first time. We all cried and hugged. I know exactly what they were thinking -that the greatest part of our childhood, the carefreeness, the sheer happiness of that time, was gone for real now. I still can't get around the fact that I will never see him again. How could he not be there? He's always been there, for 36 years. I know the fact that I have gone that long before losing someone really close to me makes me really lucky. But it doesn't hurt any less.

I go from acute bouts of sadness to almost pleasant nostalgia, to laughter when I remember his humor and silliness. I feel sad the last part of his life was tainted with bad luck and gloom, I feel sad that at his funeral only the last part of his life was mentioned (not the one he had with my grandma). The handsome, confident, successful, young-(ish) man he'd once been wasn't there. But at least, it is still there in my heart.

Au revoir, grand-papa. I love you to bits. Thank you for everything... I'm so lucky I had you to play this very important figure -in retrospect, this doting role was probably the one you were best at in your life. I'm so lucky you hung around that long and not only get to meet my children but really played an active role in their lives, too. Caring for them since you've been gone provides a great deal of comfort to me you know, as if these simple, trivial acts and day-to-day gestures were somehow a little bit like a tribute to you, to how your lineage will continue through them. I'm so sorry we never had a chance to say goodbye.

Good luck, Heather!

Tomorrow a dear blog friend is getting married somewhere in the Canadian Prairies. She was nice enough to hire me as a "floral consultant," which only means that I tried (and hopefully did not completely fail) to help plan her DIY flowers via email.

She and her fiancé are both teachers, so their sort of theme was apples (cute, no?). Her colors are ivory with aubergine purple and some green. For her centerpieces, she went with bowls of the fruit along with deep purple carnations. He bouquet will be ivory roses, and smaller bouquets, boutonnieres, corsages, etc, will be a mix of roses, hydrangeas, and carnations, with some white hypericum.

Bonne chance, hope you have a wonderful day and I can't wait to see the pictures!

This is why I keep going back.

Well,  part of why I keep going back. Here is what was waiting for us when we arrived in LA on July 4. I mean.

(Go see and read more on Julie's site. You may have to do a search for '4th of July' -there's no way to link directly to the page).


By the way, the trip went really well. We were supposed to have a connection in Dallas, but upon checking in American informed us that the flight was pretty full and kindly asked us if we would mind being switched to a direct Air Canada flight that left 10 minutes later? Did we mind??? Flying with Air Canada is SO MUCH better (we hadn't booked this flight because it was significantly more expensive), not to mention that this meant we would arrive in LA nearly four hours earlier. We landed at 10:43 AM, local time, after a very smooth and dare I say even pleasant trip.

We were completely giddy, not believing our luck. And where did we immediately head? Well we wanted to please LP, of course. After all, there was no messing about with "his favorite meal".

P.S. Our friends are not moving to Denver after all. So we'll go back again for sure. Although, you know, not in the near future because as much as we like it, after going twice in four months that would be a complete overkill.

The long overdue post

(Driving up the Pacific Coast Highway, between San Simeon and Big Sur)

Hi! We're back! And I'm sorry I didn't post during our vacation after all, but it was only because time flies when you're having fun, not because I was still feeling so bad about what happened before we left.

It's been fantastic, as you might expect. Exactly what we needed to move forward and change my mood. We've done so much in these two weeks, I can't wait to tell you more about it. Do you also feel like life is more flavorful and vivid when on vacation?

Bébé is doing great. She has gotten her first two teeth during the trip, which is just so cute. I returned to the hospital with her yesterday for her post-bandages appointment, and they were impressed, telling me they didn't even need to see her anymore. She's healed; her skin is still rosy and fragile, quickly becoming red when in the bath, etc. (which completely freaked us out the first time), but it's perfectly normal, and will improve over the next few months. It will probably take a year before we know for sure if the burn will leave a trace -the resident said it might, depending on her genetic skin elasticity, but the plastic surgeon said she didn't think so. I feel so relieved. We even took her to the beach twice, but kept her dressed and under an umbrella. She still enjoyed playing in the sand!

(I'm going to do a post about that little outfit soon!)

(M is not going to be happy I posted this, he thinks he looks awful on this picture -well they're not his best, but I don't think it's so bad, either. It's certainly not my best, but hey. I'm sorry you have to put up with the crappy iphone pics again, by the way, but unfortunately that's pretty much all there is. Our camera broke in May and we didn't get in back in time for out trip. I know.)

This week is really crazy, but I'll be back soon, promise. There's lots to post about: adorable baby clothes, but also friends and a beautiful but oh-so-cold city and how much we fell in love with Napa and our new niece and even flowers! Believe it or not, I've managed to work while in LA. There are more sad news too, unfortunately, which largely contributes to this week's busyness. But please don't worry, nothing concerning our immediate family. We are good. We are recharged. California does that to you.

P.S. By the way, thanks to everyone who added me in Google + and Pinterest recently. Basically I've only created accounts and didn't do anything with it yet, so this is why I don't have any activity or haven't replied. I will go explore and figure it out whenever I get a chance.

A week

Thank you all again so much for your outpouring of support. It really made a difference in my state of mind, and helped me see a greater part of the picture.

It's been a week today. I changed all our calendars this morning, and realized that today we were starting the second part of the year. I feel better, I really do. M is on vacation (well, paternity leave), it's a nice day out, and this morning we made waffles and danced silly in our living room, while the kids laughed heartily. It was OK to reel and to take some time to find my ground again. I'll probably have some more dark moments -a week still isn't that much (and waking up at 4 AM to hear her weep silently in her sleep is not fun). But I can also decide to accept that it happened, and that it was in the first half of the year, and that now we can move on as best as we can. She's here, she's happy, she doesn't realize what happened and won't remember. What more can I ask for? The rest will come, we only have to be patient.

We got the clear to go to California; she's still far from there but she's healing normally, and there aren't any more concerns now. They'll change her bandages one last time before we leave, and then we'll keep that one for a week, taking it off ourselves in the bath there. She should be healed enough by then not to require another one. They say there's a very slight chance that she might need a lighter one still, and if so, we can go to a clinic and have it done in LA (and pay out of pocket obviously, because our insurance won't cover that). The bandages they use include a coating of silver, which speeds up healing and prevents infection; it's apparently the best thing that she could receive.

We're leaving very early on Monday morning. I'll probably do a few quick posts there. The change of scenery will probably do us good, don't you think?