Happy happy joy joy

Tell me, who wouldn't dream of being declared "the happiest woman of" anything?...



Who, me? Ha! I can count my many blessings, and I'm fairly happy I guess, but can you please ask me back this question when I can sleep through the night again, and don't have the feeling I'm always running around like a headless chicken anymore?

USA Today recently ran a profile on what makes women happy, and even portrayed a real-life person who most closely embodies the components.


So meet the Happiest Woman in America: Mary Claire Orenic (here with her family).

She's 50, and she lives in Manhattan Beach, a very nice, affluent LA suburb. She has a 17 year old son, who's doing well in school as well as in sports, and is pretty autonomous. She's happily married to an optometrist, and has a meaningful full-time executive job at Siemens (for which she telecommutes twice a week). She grew up in Wisconsin, and achieved her childhood dream of forgoing frigid winters to go live by the sea in sunny SoCal (this dream sounds vaguely familiar, wink-wink). She has traveled quite a bit, both during her single years as a twenty-something, and now through her job. Fitness is a priority for her, as is, evidently, maintaining her (rail-thin) figure. Her parents are healthy, which means that they are not a source of worry for her. She has an active social life, and many people she knows she can depend on. She loves her house and her community. You can read more about her here.


So here are the nuts and bolts of this well-being as stated or hinted from the article:

• A strong partnership, including a chance to rekindle the relationship when children are grown
• Kids, but not too many of them
• No people that heavily depend on you
• Fulfilling career ("Younger Boomers of highest well-being are the most career-oriented of any women. Most work full time, a striking difference from younger and older generations of high well-being women, most of whom do not work". )
• Loved ones are doing well
• Caucasian
• Relative financial security ("They enjoy a family income of $120,000 and up. Money is important but not top priority.")
• Strong support network
• Positive attitude
• Pleasant physical surroundings (including climate)
• Short commute
• Time for exercise
• Healthy lifestyle
• BMI under 30.

(Full well-being checklist here).

There aren't many surprises there... Under these circumstances, who wouldn't be happy? But I'm wondering... Are these necessary to be happy (both the factors you can control and the ones you can't?), or can you be happy regardless because you just decide to be? Does it all sound like bs to you? The fact is this woman carved herself what some commenters referred to as "the perfect life"... She worked hard, stayed focused on achieving her goals, relocated, and carefully assessed her decisions, and I have immense respect for that. But granted, there is also a lot of luck and (when you think of it, incredible) chance in having been mostly sheltered from life's tragedies... A lot of bitterness in the comments seems to indicate that the average level of happiness in USA Today readers is *very low*, by the way.

There are some givens (like living somewhere nice and sunny), some slippery slopes (hinting that well-being and young children are not entirely compatible, which I'm not completely disagreeing with), and some harsh, unfortunate, unfair and crazy but still probably somewhat true indicators (racial background, weight)...

What do you think?

The underground city

I didn't grow up in Montreal, and I can only remember coming here a few times as a child or even a teenager. I had ridden in the metro once I think, to go to La Ronde. So before actually moving here at 19, I certainly was no expert. Thus, I think it's funny that during my first trip to France at 17, several people mentioned the same thing to me: "Montreal? Isn't it where there is this big underground city where people live and eat and shop and work without ever getting out?" At the time, I didn't really know what to tell them. Could it really be possible? Could it be possible AND I had never even heard of it?

Of course, now, I know what these people meant. I am now back to work downtown after a four-year absence from the area. And my office tower is connected to a Montreal peculiarity called the RÉSO -a 32 km long network of underground tunnels, shopping malls, office buildings, cinemas, metro and railway stations, hotels, universities, residential complexes, restaurants, congress centers, and so on. It covers about 12 square kilometers, and is considered to be the largest underground network in the world (even though compared to most others I've seen around the world our metro is tiny).

About 35% of downtown buildings are connected this way, there are over 150 access points to it, and it is used by about half a million people every day.

You can guess that the harsh winters have played an important role in this big urban project, because yes, it's very convenient when it's crazy cold (or during a snowstorm) to just leave my desk without a coat on and while wearing my dressy shoes, take the escalator to the tunnel, walk a bit and just emerge elsewhere (where I can get lunch, run an errand at the drugstore, do a bit of shopping, etc.) During lunch hour on winter weekdays, you can easily spot which people are part of the network (wearing normal clothes, no wet or crazy hair, etc.) and which people are not (heavy winter gear, red faces, sniffles).

But. Even if they are well-lit, tunnels are tunnels and as much as possible, I try to steer clear of them. It is usually quicker to get where you need to go by actually using the streets, not to mention that the fresh air is much more invigorating. Whether under or on the ground, people are hurried just the same, but I will always prefer the company of non-subterraneans.

As for the lore these French people alluded to with this almost dreamy air to them, about a self-contained fully functional city people never have to leave, well, it's much more legend than truth. Even though it is technically possible for someone to have their apartment, place of work or study, grocery store, gym, hair salon, clinic, bank, etc. all connected through the metro, the actual number of people who are in this situation is probably very low. In 15 years here, I have yet to meet even one of them! Not to mention that winter or no winter, I can't imagine the cabin fever after a while.

One word

Glitterama.

(Or how silly crafts can suddenly antagonize a whole community and messily explode into politicalness, perplexing racial comments and homophobic stances, the darker side of perfect-on-the-surface lifestyle blogs, Mormons, and the simultaneous fascination/uneasiness they inspire (me, anyway)).

We were on TV!

The shoot happened in April, when baby F was just 5 months old, but it only aired two weeks ago.

I had completely forgotten about it until a friend told me she saw us last week! So the show (which I had never watched, but I must say is good) is called Génération Inc., and provides advice and recommendations to local businesses facing new challenges (growth, financing, marketing, etc.) In this episode, the company was doing well manufacturing marshmallow rice treat bars sold under other brands, but they had come up with a new product -snack bars made entirely out of fruit- and they weren't sure whether or not they should market it on their own in this highly competitive market.

So we three (LP was there too, although you don't really see him on screen) were interviewed at our organic supermarket, asked to taste and review the product. The interview lasted about 10 minutes, only 15 seconds of which you see, but essentially I said that I liked the product, and would definitely buy it again, as I tried to encourage local products. It ended up being edited out, but I also remember saying that I would update the packaging to make it sleeker, more modern, more attractive. Which, if you understand French, you will see is exactly what the design expert recommended right before the supermarket segment. (I saw the product on the shelves just today: the packaging is still the same, a little dated and not-so-great).


The show was split into four parts: this is part 3.You can see us for a few seconds at a time between 3:20 and 3:55.

P.S. I hadn't lost all the baby weight then. Also, my hair has grown a lot since and it reminds me that this was a good haircut for me...

Last weekend, there was...

Pannetone for breakfast.

A spontaneous, general bursting into song (Lean on Me) with a baby clapping her hands and dancing in her high chair.

A life-size, animated dinosaur expo.

A walk into the Old Port, where we saw a huge Coast Guard ship.

A dinner downtown, just the four of us, full of laughter and good spirits.

A baby who slept through the night three times in a row, as well as a boy who didn't wake up once, resulting in a mommy sleeping for seven hours straight for the first time in... years?

A beautiful drive in the Vermont countryside, including an excellent, impromptu lunch in this cute town we had never heard of.




A reminder that life is beautiful, and life is good. That sowewhere among the current stress and tension and lack of time, our family dynamic is there, intact. That the house will eventually sell. That this real estate market situation won't always take our life and our family hostage, that on the other side there is our dream house, our well-deserved prize, our starting anew and starting afresh. That one day, soon, we won't just drive by while sighing and talking about all we'll able to do there (having giant Christmas trees thanks to the cathedral ceiling, making snowmen in a yard we can finally play in, stroll in the golf course with the sleighs) but we will park into the driveway, put the key in, and open the door. That 24 showings plus 12 couples at the open house, and four quasi-offers that all slipped through our fingers only mean that we are getting closer, and closer, to finding our buyers.

Better disposables

Since F is now going to daycare full-time, we have unfortunately reduced our usage of cloth diapers... Our daycare provides them, and I did toy with the idea of trying to convince them to accept the cloth ones, but in the end I decided not to. Even tough I really think it would be more cost-effective for them to switch in the long run, I think they (and especially most of the parents) are not ready for the mindset change yet. We still get a lot of perplexed reactions/grossed-out looks when we mention we are doing them, so I know it would be a very hard sell.

Maybe one day, tough. For the record, I fully intend to pass my diapers on to someone else, when the time comes. It's part of their appeal: they can be reused again and again.

In the meantime, I have to say that I have never even bought one package of "conventional" disposable diapers since F was born. The selection of green, natural, and/or compostable diapers has tremendously grown since LP was wearing them, which is fantastic. There are the President's Choice Green ones (which are often on sale at $7.99 a pack, an incredible bargain), the Seventh Generation bleach-free ones, the Huggies Pure & Natural organic ones, the Attitude compostable and carbon-neutral ones...

But by far, my favorites are the Nature Babycare. I can only find them at my organic supermarket, but I try to buy them as often as I can. They're from Sweden (are you surprised? I am not. The Swedes have got it, period); the company was founded by an attorney/mom of two boys, who was concerned about the environmental impact of her choices, but couldn't fit cloth diapering into her schedule.

They're chlorine-free, as natural as can be, and almost fully biodegradable. The absorbent material is corn-based, and no chemicals are used. They are just as absorbent as the big brands, really (F wears a disposable all night, for instance, and leaks are very rare). Plus, they're incredibly cute, with little hand-drawn-like designs on them. I like their whole packaging design, unsurprisingly. I'm probably the only one that cares about this, but I just find it so much appealing/esthetically pleasing than the ones used by major brands...

Yes, they're more expensive than the big brands, but not outrageously so. I think it's worth it anyway. I see this as a whole circle now: the little extra you pay out-of-pocket now will end up helping you save elsewhere someday, one way or another (even if just through a healthier planet when my grandchildren are born). Once every couple of months they get on sale, and then I do the same thing I do for more expensive organic/natural food: I stock up to save.

Ever since F started coming back wearing a conventional one at the end of the day, something I didn't remember at all came back to me: the stentch. Huggies and Pampers diapers have a smell to them, an unpleasant one, which I didn't notice that much back when LP was a baby because I knew no alternative, but which now seems unmistakable. None of the green diapers smell like that, so I reckon it probably has to do with either the gel-material they use for absorbency, or to other chemicals present; I'm not reassured by either possibility, anyway. I've also noticed that F tends to get diaper rash a lot more often now that she used to... The ones she brings back from daycare also just feel less natural and soft, more plasticky to the touch.

Please check the Nature Babycare website for retailers. I receive absolutely no compensation for this, but I've decided to become one of their "ambassadors," because when you find such a great, sensible, ethical, well-thought of, and effective product that comes from the heart like that, you just have to try helping them out and spreading the word.

Snapshot

Getting off work, 5:05 PM, Tuesday.

Montreal, I love you right now, while the air is so unseasonably warm, while even your very core seems to get to a standstill for a second, while you make up for the early darkness by putting on an early sparkly light show.

A birthday

Today my daughter turned one.

Soon I won't even have anyone I can call bébé anymore.

Happy birthday, precious little girl. I love you to the moon and back.

(She couldn't blow her candle on her own so her brother obliged...)

(Courtesy of a friend)